Need advice with my parents
By - Chrimpsy
As long as you're financially dependent on them, they have a hold over you.
I also would like to point out that you claim your dad works two jobs to support your mother as if that's a failing on her part, but the truth is that money goes to you too.
Absolutely, I don’t deny that. The problem is that she blames my dad too, for not wanting to do anything in the house, but he is just exhausted from having two jobs. And I do understand that the money goes to me too. I feel very bad for that, that’s why I want to find a full-time job and get money for my own needs!
Are you suggesting that a full time job over the summer would pay for both your university and living costs until the next year?
No, of course not. I am planning to continue working and studying, so the money will be enough for my own needs. Obviously, my dad will have to pay for the last year of my university, but he says he doesn’t mind me getting a full-time job to at least have money on my own.
Have you tried talking to your dad?
I have. He is very supportive, actually, and doesn’t mind me getting a job and moving away this summer.
Find a job in the city where your bf is and move there if that's what you want. Your mom's place is gonna be the same amount of work, so you helping for 2 months it's not gonna make much of a difference anyway.
Don't face this conversation as asking for permission, you're an adult. No need to be rude, no need to over explain either. Basically sell the idea as good news.
Thank you! I actually got the job, so I need to move there as soon as possible. I have money to provide for myself, so I don’t need to ask for any. I just feel bad about the whole situation. I know I’ll regret leaving my mom upset.
No need to leave her upset. Just leave on a high note, happy about the whole thing to the point she wonders if she herself shouldn't be happy about it too.
Thanks! I think I’ll do that! If I get enough money on this job, I might even be able to pay a part of my tuition too (I live in Europe, so it’s not that high). I appreciate your advice!